Nearly There

School is winding down.  I have almost made it through my first year.

If you had asked me back in September (or October… or November) if I thought I would have ever made it this far, I would have answered with an emphatic, “Oh, hell no.”  Ooo, child, I was a sad case.  Recently, my mom recalled a Sunday afternoon last fall in which she drove 40 minutes to my house to do my laundry because I was so miserable just thinking about the week that awaited me that I was practically paralyzed.  This post from September does a pretty good job of summing up my sentiments from last semester. 

Then, for whatever reason, something clicked after Christmas.  I figured a lot of things out.  I changed what wasn't working, and found ways to improve what was.  I forced myself to have a life outside of school, however small it might be.  I became a teacher who is firm, but kind.  I finally managed to use my classroom's bedamned projector system.

Yesterday, I was one of three teachers who showed up to school in the 7^th grade hallway.  Substitutes had been called, but few showed up and my assistant principal was visibly frazzled.  I ended up redistributing the kids from the unsupervised classes into classrooms where a substitute or teacher was present.  I then taught five, hour-long classes with 36-40 students in my room.  I missed lunch because I met with a parent who is worried that her ex-boyfriend will kidnap her child.  I read 20 pages out loud to each of my last two classes of a book they love.  After school, I went to my students’ talent show where I screamed myself hoarse.  Before falling asleep, I typed up two quizzes for the following day and sent some emails about scheduling.  And yet, as I was laying in bed waiting the few moments it took for sleep to settle in, I felt empowered.  The day was chaotic, but I was the anchor.  I felt proud—of my students and myself.  It had been a good day.

Maybe I will burn out going so hard like this, but it’s miles better than being miserable.

Or worse, bored.

Love,

Teach

Back to School

Welcome back!  Apparently I've grown a beard over break:

Love,

Teach

Bitch.

It’s my third week as a teacher. I teach 7th and 8th grade at a low-income school at one of the largest public school districts in the country. Many of my students are on the free lunch program.

It’s been a good morning. I was only called a bitch twice, but both times the kids were under the stress of learning about quotation marks. Honestly, I can sympathize--if you’ve never seen them before, they’re a little bewildering. Plus the example sentences were absurd.

“Would you like to go tubing this weekend after the clam bake?” asked Catherine.

Apparently they got Elle Woods to write the textbooks.

Anyway, one of the kids who called me a bitch apologized after class without being prompted, which was about as mind-blowing for me as quotation marks were for them.

“Sorry,” he said.

I just stood there.

“For calling you a bitch.” He clarified.

“Ah.”

I wish I’d had something better to say, but I didn’t. The thing is, even the roughest of these kids know when they’ve pushed it, and I know he felt bad about it. So shaking my finger and saying “And that’s the last time, mister!” would have probably undone any guilt he felt. I almost put a hand on his shoulder out of gratitude, but I opted out.

Another reason this morning was great was because I had a SuperSonic breakfast burrito before school, which, if you’ve never had one, is something you should invest in tomorrow morning or at your earliest convenience. Eggs, sausage, jalapeno slices, diced tomato, onions, and –take a deep breath—tater tots. The only not-so-great part was the tortilla, but other than that, the SuperSonic breakfast burrito is for the elite.

Anyway, I’m keeping this blog to remember my first year of teaching. I know it’s only going to get harder for a while, and I know that there will be days when I come home crying, and I know that there will be days when I want to write a dramatic farewell note and put my own head under a guillotine. But I want to start out on a good note. And today, that note is apologies and breakfast burritos.


Love,

Teach